i don't like kids

I've seen it go the other way too. Much of my life is spent around my kid, I think she's awesome. It isn't something that brings me joy and it certainly doesn't outweigh the less-nice things that come from parenting. I used to dream that I'd find out I was actually adopted, and not just rejected for no real reason. I feel like in the other places I lived 1) children were always around – rarely segregated from anything adults did and often running around, then coming back in, then running around again but 2) adults felt very little obligation to directly interact with them at any given moment, much like being at a cocktail party where you get to choose to talk to whomever you feel like. An alarming number of people who don't like children actually have children anyway, which rarely leads to excellence in parenting. It's your choice to not bear your own children, of course, but it seems like (not this author specifically, but other child-free discussions I've witnessed) the child-free community overwhelmingly sees only the bad in children and not the immense good. the honeymoon? 3. I don't really see children as a "whole class of people"… everyone is a kid at some point, and kids universally share the quality of being (to some extent, by their very definition) *immature*, which can be tough to deal with. What you fail to even attempt to comprehend is that someone just wouldn't like children, that not liking children has to mean something other than just not liking them. Then I was diagnosed with PCOS and was told that I may not actually be able to have kids. Not a discrimination against any particular group. You might enjoy the original article: http://nymag.com/news/features/67024. Maybe? I think those that deep down and truly, honestly want kids and are excited to make a great life with a new little person or persons should totally go for it. Or that I’m just too sensitive in nature. I don't like children and I don't like being beholden to people, so being beholden to children sounds like my worst nightmare. You shouldn't feel that way. No hate, just letting ya know! You can like or dislike whoever you want, no need to apologize for that. First, there is nothing wrong with you. I didn't even like kids when I WAS a kid lol. 151k. What a family chooses to spend money on in regards to their kids, I would argue out of home childcare is probably not a priority unless it is a necessity. I happen to adore them, but there is really no getting around the projectile fluids (unless you have fantastic reflexes). But before that, they're… not my cup of tea. Coming from my grandmother. It's sexist bullshit, and I think it's wrong. There is nothing wrong with you for making this decision. I Don’t Like Kids. Kids on their own as tiny humans are acceptable (although less so once they're no longer mute). If you're starving and you have no choice, you'll eat your dog's dead body. Luckily, most of my friends know this and they're cool with it. It just means there are a lot of imbeciles around right now. So don’t worry! Children are not discriminated against in our society the same way disabled people and racial minorities are. see? It's not unhealthy to take time now and then away from your kids, to keep in touch with yourself as an individual (vs 'mommy and nothing else'), it's easy to spend some of that time with those friends who don't like children. It's just not part of my make up I guess and I'm fortunate to have found a husband who shares my desire to never have any. I always learn a lot from these threads. When have I ever implied that being childfree is itself a problem? Sure not every child is coughing at me, or screeching in my presence, but the majority are doing something near me that makes me uncomfortable and I don't like it. I don’t like kids I never have, I find myself cringing a little around them and avoid inviting friends over who have practically noisy annoying ones. One tactic I use is avoidance and we were trying to rationalise the fact that sometimes avoidance is a healthy way of dealing with issues and sometimes its not, depending on the circumstances and motivation. I think media polarizes the topic much more than it needs to be in order to create clickbait. However, it's very discouraging to see so often the negative public image of my life- or what they assume about it. I could work towards liking centipedes all I want (and I have, even, because they live in my basement and they're not going anywhere) but I'm just not going to get that far, they just plain rub me the wrong way. Dear No Kidding, I say "I can't have children" and they feel PITY for me. Thanks for posting. I don't feel that either group are any lesser, or deserve oppression or abuse. I find it much more wrong to say "you're allowed to make a decision (I don't want to work in a nursing home), but not to have an opinion (I don't want to work in a nursing home because I don't like being around senior citizens)". He said he was fine with it. I just find the pitch grating on my ears. I can also understand why so many people say "no children" on their wedding invitations. I hear this! 99% of children act the same way, elderly and disabled do not. What people are objecting to is the not-liking-kids part. I try to be that person who just blends in the background to go about her own day, but of course no matter how hard I try to keep quiet I always get nosy people bombarding me at work or family members asking me “When are you going to have children?” As an asexual person who is completely uninterested in sex or relationships, I’ve heard every single saying out there that many of you child free ladies have also heard. Children are an extremely vulnerable population, and it really disturbs me to see so many people who either don't realize that or just don't care. After all, I don't like people who don't like kids, but I know that's my issue, not theirs. If that entire group of people encompasses all the human behaviours I dislike, yes. I’ve had people tell me I’ll change my mind or that I’m selfish. This is just to say, there are also people with own (and very purposely conceived) kids who don't like kids a lot. The fact that I find children, generally, to be exhausting is exactly why I don't like them and why I choose not to spend my time around them. And you must not have kids, because I can tell you that being pregnant, giving birth and raising a kid is incredibly difficult, painful, and emotionally and physically exhausting, and I'd argue it's a huge achievement just to be able to survive the first year! These (two of them) women have said that's what happened. I do not like children at all and haven't since I was a child myself. I can try to build up my tolerance levels to these stimuli but they're things that will always be problematic for me because that's part of how I physically function. You…. I know there are a lot of parenting cynics out there. And if you know that being around children is going to actively drain you, discomfort you and possibly just drive you up the wall because all the children you've experienced push all of your buttons, is it wise to keep putting yourself in that situation? Also yes. I see no issue with having that kind of opinion. As a specialists in trauma, I often find these “strong emotions” about certain things have a relationship to something in the distant past that we have been through. I don't really think that most people consider why they want kids, they just "know" they do or think they should. Did you ask your parents for permission before you had sex? I recognized a long time ago that I would never have children and thankfully found a husband to be who shares my views but for his own reasons, he actually likes children. That's not the issue at all. Sometimes I Don’t Like My Kids is an honest look at the frustrations of mothering and the dangers of the “supermom” syndrome. There is much more we could explore about your question, as my thought is a lot more people feel the same way, but are just afraid to admit it. lol She tells me sometimes that she feels like if she somewhat just forces her baby on me that I will eventually just start to love her as much as she does but honestly its having the opposite effect!! Here's a fun game: take the comments on this article, and replace "children/kids" with "disabled people" or "black people". Well, the feeling would be mutual. I got the occasional 'lets get a drink with the child free friend for the night' invites. We made it through, but it significantly increased our vulnerability and affected my health. When I say "people" I mean to say people who harm children (and that includes people who ostensibly "love" them but hurt them anyway). It's about respecting the choices of others, and really should remain as simple as that. You can't really say the article isn't about not liking kids–it's in the title. " Not "liking" kids is a preference. Drew Barrymore's kids are not the biggest fans of her filmography. But I don't like them right now either. I find them overwhelmingly annoying, so I avoid situations where I'll be around them. And that's ok! There is also the type of not liking children and not wanting them, which the asker seems to fall into. Now I'm wondering… anyone else out there part of this under-represented sect of the child-free? While I might have liked more attention and recognition as a child, I think the lack of it made me objective, independent and self-sufficient. I'm glad I don't have any. Plenty of really crappy people like kids. I was actually pointing out that you wouldn't ask somebody to compromise what they believe in to "make them a better human being" in somebody else's eyes and that tolerance is accepting that others will have different beliefs to your own, even if you don't necessarily agree. However, it makes me distinctly uncomfortable to have a child referred to as "it" for a whole host of reasons and yes, I have backed away from this friendship partially because of this behaviour, while I've found that I am still really close with other childfree friends and have no problem spending time with them. I don't get it because I'm the opposite. it didn't exist before Having this other "family" that's constantly receiving new members gives me comfort and hope that if I should face a long widowhood I won't have to go through it alone. Great! There is something about every kid I meet where I have that feeling of "omg gtf away from me" and I wonder what is so fascinating about kids? Becoming a parent necessitates a shift in your priorities. I'm not crazy about 'children' as a faceless collective. Children are indoctrinated freely, with no ability to agree and no repercussions for the caregiver if it ends up damaging the child. Will more background make me sound like more or less of a dick? Perhaps next time, don't *try* to do anything, especially since that's what you find most frustrating – the "acting" part. Time limit thirded! Not that he was any trouble at all, he was a lovely boy. There have been years where I couldn't stop holding other people's babies. Some won't, and well … you can't like everyone. They always do on articles like this. 1. There is no way a 5 year old would ever benefit or behave without causing harm in an adult setting. Those things make me happy (children don't). I find it harder to relate to my friends who have children, they're not able to hang out as often, they ONLY seem to be able to talk about their children, and their newsfedds on facebook … just ugh. The only friends I lost when they had kids were the friends who lost themselves when they had kids. WHO GAVE BIRTH TO ALL THESE "FOR ME" WHEN I WAS AWAY IN EXILE I'm very involved with the community theater world in our area. I'm disabled and I don't take my close friends views of not wanting kids to be in the same realm. People stare at me like I have three heads when I say I don’t like or want kids. Remember, having a kid doesn't make you special, it makes you like everybody else. Tell me that's not prejudice against children…. I appreciate it must be a difficult call to make though! But I'm still happy in the abstract that it happens. It would make being a parent very difficult, though–you have to be "on" when your kid needs you, sometimes when you really don't want to, and the responsibilities just seem endless. no comments yet. But I don't, so until her youngest reaches an age where I can have an adult conversation with him we'll remain texting / facebooking friends who hang out when she needs to get away. You are far less likely to do that to a human being– and if you do, you are far more likely to never recover psychologically. They smell, are sticky, wet, I don't like how they dart around aimlessly, they cry, they are needy, they make me feel unclean to be around them. I note that the editor’s note describes your position as a position within the category of child free rather than as espousing it entirely and I’d agree with that. It is kinda sad to hear that you have to grit your teeth to hang out with friends. I'm actually really concerned about how this topic will effect my friendships in the future. I groan and want to go home because I think he's an idiot. ), are asking those people to take a big risk that they'll experience the same joys they will.

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